Sunrise in the middle of the day.

This is a letter I wrote to a friend for our first donation. (http://funds.gofundme.com/index.php?route=fundmanager) Since she has not let me know if this is OK, I have removed all Identification except her Spirit name. I warned her that I might steal part of this as I had spent 3 hours writing it, and I think it is the clearest that I have been in a little while. The Botox poisoning itself was supposed to be cleared by last Friday, and I still feel the effects, or ‘side effects,’ as they are officially called. Poisoned and dyslexic, I have trouble stringing my thoughts together, let alone try to convey them in a manner that makes sense.

It seems as if this is clearing up, but that is why the blog had paused for as long as it did.

___

My sweet Aurora! You are a lifesaver.

I am absolutely shattered. I’d rather dig a ditch than wave a sign, and that I cannot throws me into panic attacks.

I figured out an advantage recently to a small farm. I invest about $20 a week into my chickens, and they give me about $40 in eggs. It all takes about half an hour, daily, for general maintenance.

Lately, I have been too sick to go outside at more than just a shuffle and my eldest daughter is apparently afraid of our coop, so the eggs have been piling up.

Mysteriously, every one of my hens went broody, even the ones that are raised to be non-setters. This is partially because, when it is 90 degrees regularly, they really only need a warm hen at night.

This happened right before my wife’s brain surgery last year. I am about to be buried in $5 bills that grow into $20 bills if I keep feeding them.

We do what we can.

My wife, recently, was gifted the big book of Essential Oils from her dear sister, which has given her confidence in what she already does well. I am hoping, through this donation process, to get her the certification she needs to consult on this professionally. She is amazing at it, here at home, but worries about messing about with people’s health without training.

For us, sometimes, it is any port in the storm. If _we_ can get some relief, we know it works.

I recently applied for a Bible Geek position. It does not pay well, but I was open and honest about both my history and my current state as a Buddhist Agnostic posing as a Zen Atheist. If I get hired (after that), I’ll finally be able to add ‘Professional Pharisee’ to my resume. I study the Bible with a voraciousness I never had as a Christian almost like some obsessive hobby. It might be a real treat to get paid for it.

I was going to take some classes on social work. My local clinic has a mental health department that cannot seem to keep anyone (except the vice-director) for more than 3 months. What can be so bad about listening to and helping crazy people? I have been doing that all my life. The last person who stayed the longest was discovered to not have the proper schooling for her pay grade, and had to step down until she could complete her schooling. I see a great need, and the world has little use for a minister without a god otherwise.

My heart aches for Becca, and I pray how I can. I don’t remember it ever raining this long before, but it seems like the world is falling apart for everyone. It can’t rain all of the time, but my neck is sore from looking for a break in the clouds. (Please check out https://www.facebook.com/TeamBeccaOhio)

Thank you again, Aurora. You have brought a little light into the darkness exactly when we needed it.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s